Title: Too Much Information
Series: Awkward Love #3
Author: Missy Johnson
Release Date: April 16, 2018
We've all been there.
One minute, you're sprawled out on your bed, minding our own business and the next you're lying in the back seat of your best friend's car as she races you to the ER.
And not the closest one either.
No. You're headed to the one fifty miles farther out, because the one five minutes away is where you start your residency next week.
So there you are, lying in cubical nine, hoping like hell that the doctor about to examine you isn't young, sexy or male.
Of course he's all three.
Telling him about the clitmaster7000 I have lodged inside me is by far the single most embarrassing moment of my life.
Discovering he's my brother's new roommate is even worse.
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Becca pounds on the door just as orgasm number six tapers off. I can barely move by this point, but I made it to the door to unlock it before number six and that’s the main thing. Now all I need is for her to get this thing out of me.
“It’s me,” she calls out. “Are you going to let me in?”
“It’s open,” I manage to get out.
She walks in, her eyes widening at the sight of me hunched over the couch, thighs clenched, rocking back and forth on the floor. At least I’m not naked. I managed to half squirm my way into a dress that I found lying on the floor in my room—though I must look a mess—with only one arm through the hole and the skirt bunched up around my waist. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure why I even bothered. She sprints over to me, crouching down beside me.
“Jesus, are you okay?” She glares at me as I let out a strangled sob. “Tell me what’s wrong?” she says. She looks me over, her eyes wide with concern. “Were you attacked? Did someone break in and rape you? Talk to me, Laura. Should I be calling an ambulance? The police?” Her dark eyes study mine as I struggle to form words to answer any of her questions. “For God’s sake, Laura. Say something.”
“No ambulance,” I mutter.
I groan and clamp my legs together, gasping as my body begs for relief. This is a nightmare. I point to the bedroom, where the box is still lying on the bed. Becca stalks through to my room, returning a few seconds later with the box in her hands. Her eyes widen, to the point where they’re nearly ready to fall out of her head.
“No fucking way,” she hisses.
I nod, sweat pouring out of places I didn’t know sweat could form. She clasps her hands over her mouth and stifles her laughter, before quickly kneeling down next to me.
“What do you want me to do? Dig it out? I’ll do that for you,” she says as I glare at her. “Wait… I should’ve asked before offering. Front or back?”
“Becca,” I growl, my voice high noting at the end.
“What? I’m sorry, it was a legitimate question,” she cries, holding her hands up in defense. “You know I don’t handle poop. How on earth did you manage to get it stuck in there in the first place?” she asks, shaking her head.
“Can we discuss this later, after it’s been removed from my vagina?” I beg her.
“Yes, yes, I’m sorry. Okay, let’s get you down to my car.”
“Car?” I say, alarmed. “What happened to you offering to help me—”
“You seriously want me digging around in there like I’m looking for loose change down the back of the couch?” she asks seriously. Then she giggles, but she stops when she sees my expression. “Sorry. Disturbing mental image. You understand this is pushing the friendship boundaries, right?”
I nod weakly. Oh, I understand it, all right.
She sighs and helps me climb up properly onto the couch while I try to steady myself as my body begins to convulse. God, not again. I wipe a layer of sweat off my forehead and rock back and forth, riding out the orgasm as I whimper into the cushion. Then I gasp, clenching my thighs again, until it passes.
“You’re coming already? But I haven’t even worked my magic hands on you yet,” she jokes, flexing her fingers. “Hey, do you have any kitchen gloves, or—”
“Just get it out,” I beg her.
“Fine,” she grumbles as she gets down onto her knees. She lifts up the skirt of my dress and peers between my legs. “Hey, you smell really good. What kind of body wash do you use?”
“Right, sorry,” she mutters. “Focus.”
I laughed all the way through this read. Laura is quiet. She works hard and is about to start her third-year residency. She rarely dates. She finds her BFF's birthday gift card present and decides she'll use it for a bob (battery operated boyfriend) since it was for an adult "toy" shop. Only quiet, workaholic Laura could get it stuck--doing its job way too well. Going to the hospital she starts work at is a big no. Of course, at the hospital further away, the doctor assigned to her has to be sex in a white coat. Oh well, she'll never see him again--at least not until the dinner party at her brother's house.
It just get's better from there. It is primarily a light-hearted read with some real issues included. There is plenty to keep the interest. You've steam, humor, a besty who can make a horrible situation--worse, and interfering family members. This is a fun read sure to leave you smiling.
Reviewed for Words Turn Me On
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Missy lives in a small town in Central Victoria with her husband, and her confused pets (a dog who think she's a cat, a cat who thinks he's a dog...you get the picture).
When she's not writing, she can usually be found looking for something to read.